Man Refuses to Fund Wife's Midlife Crises, She Demands That He Cover the Bills While She Spends Her Savings On Partying and Luxury: 'I wasted my life workin'

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  • 01
    r/AITAH u/ELocksmith48 • 1d . Aita for telling my wife that I will not cover her expenses if she quit her job
  • 02
    I (36M) have been married to my wife (34F) for five years and we have a 3 year old son together. My wife finished med school and residency program and she has been a neurology specialist for 4 years. I have a management job that pays well but my wife gets paid about 30% more than me. Despite the pay gap, almost all our son's expenses are covered by me and the bills are split evenly.
  • 03
    Recently my wife came up to me and talked about how she feels like she spent all her adult life working on her career and has always been stressed by the work load she had and now she feels like she should get the fruits of her labor, therefore, she wants to stop working for five years and spend her savings traveling, hiking,partying, buying her self expensive clothes etc.
  • 04
    I asked her if she has enough savings to cover her half of the bills and she said she doesn't intend to cover any bills, and will use all her savings on herself, so she is basically asking me to cover all our bills and our son's expenses while she spends her money on entertainment. I told that if she did that I will be left with almost zero savings every month basically living from check to check, she said she sees no problem in that and I can work overtime if I had to.
  • 05
    I was shocked by her answer, It made me question If she even cares about me, she basically has no problem making me struggle while she uses her money for entertainment so I told her that whether she stops working or not is her decision but i will not cover her half of the bills, I won't burn my self covering the expenses of someone with a high paying job while she entertains her self because I believe that is extremely unfair towards me, I
  • 06
    reminded her that I have been covering all our son's expenses and half of bills despite the pay gap so I have already been saving less and now she wants me to drain my saving and burn my self out so that she can entertain herself, absolutely not. Now she is angry and ranting about how I don't appreciate her and the hard work she has been doing all her life. So, AITA 8,417 2,319 D
  • 07
    Bimmer9721 • 1d My man, your wife just told you indirectly that she wants a divorce. She pretty much said I don't want to be married, I don't like you very much, keep the kid but I want to go and be single. That's about as plain it gets. Reply 715.2k
  • 08
    Boring-Concept-2058 1d And the fact that she hadn't seemed to even give their child a second thought shocked me! Clearly, mom duty is off the table if she is going to party all the time.
  • 09
    OP, she doesn't want to be married anymore. She doesn't want to be a mom anymore, BUT she still wants a home base that you get to pay for. And if you file for divorce and custody of your son, she will be paying you alimony and child support with her, making that much more than you. File for the divorce and child support. Let her be free, but don't pay for her to do it. ... 25.1k ♡
  • 10
    Wonderful-Bass6651 23h Nailed it. She just wants to shrug off all of her responsibilities and be free. Basically, she wants you to be responsible while she has fun. And FYI - if you divorce she's not just going to be paying you alimony and child support; she's also going to lose half of her savings. So right away her plan is a bust. Tell her to take a spa day or a weekend yoga retreat - you know, what most people do when they're feeling burned out! 33
  • 11
    Vyckerz. 1d This is exactly what I was thinking. What she described was single woman stuff, not doing stuff with her husband and kids. It's like you stay home, pay for everything and I am going off to be single for a while, but really for good. ← ↑ 77 3
  • 12
    DankyMcJangles • 1d You already sound like a single parent, you'd better file now while she's got the income NTA Reply 11k
  • 13
    MoisterOyster19 • 1d Well the judge would look at her potential income. If he saw she was an attending neurologist and refused to work as one. The judge won't see kindly to that. He would set child support at her potential income 154
  • 14
    Accomplished Chart873 • 1d Are you included in any of these plans? Reply 35
  • 15
    ELocksmith48 OP. 1d No, would be too busy trying to cover everything and take care of our son 58 42 д
  • 16
    Accomplished Chart873 . . 1d She can go off and do all of those things....but, if she's not working, or being a SAHM or taking vacations with you, is she even a partner anymore?
  • 17
    It seems that she would like a 5 year break from everything while being financially taken care of. That's what teenagers do during gap year. Not parents of a 3 year old. While she makes up her mind about being a mother and wife, I would draw a line in the sand and have a 50/50 split of finances. ← 58
  • 18
    Educational Gas_92 • 1d I feel like she didn't think things through...l mean she could have remained single, without commitments and children. Problem is, she got married and had a kid, so the freedom she wishes for, isn't realistic... ...
  • 19
    FSmertz . 1d NTA. Ugh. How selfish and immature. She's only practiced for four years? What a waste of a seat in med school. And to abandon your son! I'd divorce tomorrow. ← Reply 29
  • 20
    cynical_overlord 1979 1d NTA Why is she not contributing anything to her son. That is REALLY STRANGE, especially when she earns more than you. How does she not buy him things (like groceries that include stuff he eats? Or daycare costs?). I'm so confused by how this even works.
  • 21
    She has adult responsibilities. She has a child. She cannot just stop that. I get that healthcare workers are burning out an need a break and are quitting, but 5 years of you supporting everything and her contributing nothing is not a reasonable plan Reply 29
  • 22
    noonecaresat805. 1d Nta. But it sounds like she plans to travel and party for 5 years leaving you at home to be a single parent. If that's her plan you're better off just getting divorced and going for full custody and asking for child support. This way you can plan your life that way and she can go and live the life she feels she missed out on and suffer the consequences for when she's done living the life she wants. ← Reply 16

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